I am attracted to the idea
of your lips
exploring my body
as if it were a map
and you kept getting lost
a good response to the question “how old are you?” is something along the lines of “dunno i stopped counting after the first few centuries”
and it needs to be said seriously without smiling or humor or as casually as possible and followed by “so anyway” and a subject change as if it’s completely normal
"I stopped counting a few decades ago. no. what’s the one with the zeros? millennia that’s it. human time keeping is so confusing."
MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,
“YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.”
WHICH IS TRUE
MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED
the moral of this story is
1. Sit the way you want.
2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.
- Roommate: *Opens my door*
- Roommate: Hey I need to-
- Me: *Just so happens to be singing Let it Go*
- Me: *Complete with the dancing*
- Me: *Having just gotten out of the shower*
- Me: *During the transition period between drying off and bothering to get dressed*
- Roommate: *Averts gaze and backs out of room* I'll uh, ask again later.
- Me: The result probably won't be any different.
Peggy is the one to get stuck in ice in and survive the century. Pepper doesn’t get rid of Extremis and becomes Rescue. Bruce Banner stays under the radar leaving Betty as the authority in gamma radiation. Jane retains some of the Aether’s powers. Thor is busy ruling Asgard, therefore Sif is the one tasked to retrieve the Tesseract. Director Fury rounds them all up along with Black Widow for his Avengers Initiative and, Barton being compromised, Maria Hill steps up as the marksman of the team.
tldr; the ladies save the world instead